A CAREGIVING CHECKLIST FOR IN-FACILITY AND AT-HOME CAREGIVING
- Breathe. Breath is important. Practice breathing techniques with phrases geared toward the present moment. For example: “Breathing in, I recognize I feel __________. Breathing out I recognize I feel___________.
- Ask for help from those willing to help you. A neighbor, a friend, a family member. Ask for even the small things: “I need a coffee break.” “I need an hour alone.” “I need groceries.” “I need a slow bath.” “I need a day off….”
- Take time for yourself. You don’t have to fly solo, though you may be able to in the beginning. As dementia progresses, you will need a team of people helping you.
- When you feel overwhelmed, take in Nature. If you have a park nearby, a place with trees and/or water, take a daily walk, if you can. Consider taking your loved one on a daily walk. Nature calms and rejuvenates. Nature improves mood and lowers stress.
- Join a live support group, where you can see and hear other caregivers. Many groups meet via Zoom. Connecting with other’s who are also caregiving a loved one with Alzheimer’s/Dementia can prove invaluable. Check your local City Hall to see if there are any support groups organized near you. Try the Alzheimer’s Association to find active groups near you. Ask your local religious organization. Start your own group.
- Do take time for yourself, even though you think you are okay and can power through. You can’t. Middle-End and End-Stage dementia are very challenging. This is where the team needs to come in so that you can regularly regroup if you are a primary caregiver living with your loved one or executing powers as attorney and/or a health care agent. Caregiving doesn’t stop when a loved one is placed in a facility. Active engagement and advocacy is ongoing.
- Eat well and sleep well. Find your Helpers. They are waiting to be asked.
- Exercise, even if it’s just that lovely stroll through Nature. It will do you a world of good. During winter, bundle your loved one up to the extent that it feels reasonable and tolerable. Use a wheelchair if you have one. Even walking with a loved one off the secured unit of a facility to look out large windows at snow can be satisfying.
- Find people you can laugh with. Celebrate your loved one with them. Play cards at a table and let your loved one have a dummy hand, or just watch. Watch funny, favorite movies. Listen to music. Brush hair. Look at picture books or family photos.
- Learn the different stages of Alzheimer’s/Dementia. It’s true they can blend into one another at first, but each shift, at some point becomes definitive. The more you can learn about the particular dementia your loved one has, the better.
- Always know your loved one is there, with you. She, He, They can hear until the very end. They can understand much, though they may not be able to communicate in ways you are used to.
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Always know: You are not alone. You don’t have to be alone as a caregiver.