Blog 2017

The Seven Holy Words: A Flash Play by Mortal Man

 

The Seven Holy Words: A Flash Play by Mortal Man

 

The Performers enter the stage of alabaster pillars surrounded by a backdrop of green mounds barely seen in some obscured distance.  They stand before a crèche in a scene encircled by the pillars, and onto which has been dumped a cache of silver and gold coins littered around the pile of straw that fills a crib in which sits a white, rather phallic mini-monument.  Surrounding the crib are donkey ears and elephant tusks.

 

Trump: I need a Tax Deal...just a Deal...I gotta have a deal!

 

Pence: I'll get it for you if you give me 7 words.  Deal or no Deal?

 

Trump: Deal!  Is there a curtain?

 

Pence: Just a number, Sir.  Seven.  Seven is a sacred number.

 

Trump: Deal!

 

Pence: Seven is our Heaven.  Seven.  Six and a Day of Rest.  Straight from the Bible, Sir.

 

Trump: Deal!

 

Pence: Seven words, then.  Removed.  Out of CDC.

 

Trump: What is that?  Columbia…District…Columbia….

 

Pence: It’s Centers for Disease Control, Sir.

 

Trump: To Hell with that!  Deal!  Which curtain?

 

Pence: No curtain, Sir.  Just a great, vast veil.

 

Trump: A Veil Deal?  I like it!

 

Pence: Translucent, but Divisive, Sir.

 

Trump: Oh, Deal, Deal, Deal!!!!  Give ’em to me!

 

Pence: Vulnerable,

 

Trump: We are Mighty!

 

Pence: Entitlement,

 

Trump: Lazy Morons, Get to Work!

 

Pence: Diversity,

 

Trump: Aryan!

 

Pence: Transgender,

 

Trump: Men are Men!  Women are Objects!  Up for grabs!

 

Pence: Fetus,

 

Trump: What?  Oh.  Right.  Partial.  It’s Human, then?

 

Pence: We are, Sir.

 

Trump: Yes, we are!

 

Pence: Evidence-based and Science-Based. 

 

Trump: We have evolved beyond!

 

Pence: Yes, indeed, Sir.  We have.

 

Trump: New Beginnings!

 

Pence: Feels like Old Times, Sir.

 

Trump: Happy Days Are Here Again!

 

Pence: Indeed, they are Sir.  Indeed.  They are.

 

 

 

(Squealing; Exit Both, Stage Right.  A Russian Troll appears and bags all the coins, removes the monument from the crib and puts it in a crossover bag before exiting center front, parading past the Audience.  The pillars tumble.  Only the crib remains, filled with straw.)

 

 

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