Blog 2017

The Seven Holy Words: A Flash Play by Mortal Man


The Seven Holy Words: A Flash Play by Mortal Man


The Performers enter the stage of alabaster pillars surrounded by a backdrop of green mounds barely seen in some obscured distance.  They stand before a crèche in a scene encircled by the pillars, and onto which has been dumped a cache of silver and gold coins littered around the pile of straw that fills a crib in which sits a white, rather phallic mini-monument.  Surrounding the crib are donkey ears and elephant tusks.


Trump: I need a Tax Deal...just a Deal...I gotta have a deal!


Pence: I'll get it for you if you give me 7 words.  Deal or no Deal?


Trump: Deal!  Is there a curtain?


Pence: Just a number, Sir.  Seven.  Seven is a sacred number.


Trump: Deal!


Pence: Seven is our Heaven.  Seven.  Six and a Day of Rest.  Straight from the Bible, Sir.


Trump: Deal!


Pence: Seven words, then.  Removed.  Out of CDC.


Trump: What is that?  Columbia…District…Columbia….


Pence: It’s Centers for Disease Control, Sir.


Trump: To Hell with that!  Deal!  Which curtain?


Pence: No curtain, Sir.  Just a great, vast veil.


Trump: A Veil Deal?  I like it!


Pence: Translucent, but Divisive, Sir.


Trump: Oh, Deal, Deal, Deal!!!!  Give ’em to me!


Pence: Vulnerable,


Trump: We are Mighty!


Pence: Entitlement,


Trump: Lazy Morons, Get to Work!


Pence: Diversity,


Trump: Aryan!


Pence: Transgender,


Trump: Men are Men!  Women are Objects!  Up for grabs!


Pence: Fetus,


Trump: What?  Oh.  Right.  Partial.  It’s Human, then?


Pence: We are, Sir.


Trump: Yes, we are!


Pence: Evidence-based and Science-Based. 


Trump: We have evolved beyond!


Pence: Yes, indeed, Sir.  We have.


Trump: New Beginnings!


Pence: Feels like Old Times, Sir.


Trump: Happy Days Are Here Again!


Pence: Indeed, they are Sir.  Indeed.  They are.




(Squealing; Exit Both, Stage Right.  A Russian Troll appears and bags all the coins, removes the monument from the crib and puts it in a crossover bag before exiting center front, parading past the Audience.  The pillars tumble.  Only the crib remains, filled with straw.)